Infatuation and Past Love

Monday,

This is the second week of holiday and my mother and I share the same laziness today. We're not doing much of anything today. We have totally abandoned the chores of the day but we both don't care much of it. It's our lazy day so we could do what we want. She's laying around the living room watching the TV where as I'm laying in bed in front of the laptop, online.

Pretty much nothing is going on. I need to fine something to do and FAST!!! And no, studying is not an option right now cause its been 2 weeks through holidays and I'm digging myself through books even though it sounds great right now. I still need a few more days or another week till I'm absolutely bored to death.

Francis and I aren't close anymore. Sad as it is I think its because I'm too lazy to spend money on prepaid everyday. First off it's not entirely because of it. I guess I stopped when Zaki and I broke up. It's insane though but I hope that he didn't think it was his fault. He did told me to break it off since Zaki and I kinda grew apart. So I hope he didn't think that it was his fault. It was a suggestion and I only followed it because there's no reason for us to hang around any longer.

He was worried that I might've be sad or something but the truth is I wasn't even in love with Zaki its just an infatuation. Sure it was a crush but that was it. We hooked up just a few weeks after I lost all connections with Guy. So it was definitely infatuation.

Now about Guy. We've known each other for a long time. 4 years to be exact. Pretty long right? I have no idea how we stayed that long but we did. Between those 4 years was a list of break ups in my life. Sadly, Guy was always there to pick me back on my feet. He hated my ex Josh for being so obsessive. He hated how Josh is forcing me to do thing I didn't want to do. I don't blame him.

Guy was always there whenever I needed help and I felt horrible dumping him. He might think that I was just using him. In truth, I wasn't. I wanted to give him a chance at love and I thought I loved him but he was like a brother to me and I have no idea how to tell him. It'll be right to tell him the truth but I'm scared I'll break his heart. I had too in the end cause I was still in love with my ex Darryll. He broke it off 2 years ago and never heard since until recently. It was 2 months ago, when he came on and we talked and played our game that we both created.

We both felt the chemistry was still there and decided to give it another chance. I was so thrilled. This is the reason why I feel so guilty every time I give Guy false hope. I was in love with a guy who isn't even attractive physically but in personality wise. He had captured my eyes and attention. He held that great humour that I love and he always make me feel so happy.

Everything I looked for a guy apart from looks and fortune ( Hey! We all need to survive in this world ). I'm not like my sister. She's so materialistic and I'm not like that. It's just I feel like I have nothing to worry about when I'm with Darryll. Also we have this connection that will never be able to break. Yes, I consider him and THE ONE. Who wouldn't?

Okay I just moved from Guy to Darryll. I can't help it :/ So I'm still waiting for him to respond and yeah 2 months and no respond. I just hope that he's okay. I love him still and I don't think anyone can ever change that. He has this weird attraction magnet that attracts me to him. You can't blame a girl for loving a guy she loves dearly.

I think this is a lot for today :D so till then I bid good day and have a great week!

Love

Mia